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Improbable Fiction a play by Alan Ayckbourn where the actors have to change their costumes at the end of act one and all the way through act two very quickly! From modern day, to Victorian, to 20’s, to Science Fiction, to Goblin and Squirrel. Well worth seeing.
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Being Franked. Frank was the master carpenter and when he had built things I would paint them. Quite often I would be delayed.
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Just in case. When going to fit up a show at another theatre, the van would be packed and always include an amount of ‘just incase’ pieces of wood Frank insisted on taking. Just incase!
Author Archives: pipandmick
Pub Side Mooring. 26th July
New Lane Swing Bridge to Rufford Branch to Crabtree Swing Bridge 32
The rain was coming down stair rods this morning, so with only a short hop to do we had a cooked breakfast. Asda’s Turkey sausages aren’t bad, but not as good as Sainsburys. By the time we’d taken our time it had stopped raining so we decided to move. We pushed off and I swung Crabtree Swing Bridge managing to hold up two cars.
We’d decided to head up to the junction to wind as the mooring outside the pub is sloped, it would also mean easier access to the chimney too as that is on the port side. As we passed the closed pub car park we could see a sporty car that had seen better days, every one of it’s windows had been smashed! Were we being wise to moor outside the pub overnight?
NB Infinity had moved off so there was space we could take by the car park in Burscough. Tomorrow we are hoping to loose some of Oleanna’s ballast so getting the Finesse van as close to the boat is important. At the car park we couldn’t guarantee them being able to park closest to the boat and there was a barrier to keep motorbikes off the towpath which might have been awkward. So we carried on back to the junction to wind.
Oleanna’s doppelganger was sitting just through the bridge at the junction waiting for the swing bridge at the top of the locks to be opened. Mrs Infinity looked like she was having a bit of trouble unlocking the ground paddles to fill the top lock up. It would have been funny if we’d have shared the locks with them, shadow and mirror. Wonder if they are heading to the Lancaster?
After we’d winded the rain started again in earnest. My coat seemed to be doing it’s job well, rather than soaking water up it was running off it. This wasn’t so good when I came inside to find waterproof trousers as I dripped everywhere, a bit like the open windows. Mick pulled us in a little short of our chosen mooring and on the towpath side. This meant that Tilly could go off and explore the fields rather than the pub carpark and maybe we’d move across first thing in the morning.
The rest of the day has been spent having a good tidy and clean. It feels a bit like we need to show that we’re looking after Oleanna to the chaps tomorrow. The cooker top has had a good clean (Mick’s domain) even though it will be replaced tomorrow and under the back steps has had a good sweep and tidy ready for a hatch to be cut to aid ballast removal. As we cleaned Tilly would return periodically to sit and clean her filthy paws. Well you’ve got to look your best when going ashore! Once she was clean and dry she’d be off out again. I’m really not sure she’s a cat at all, cats don’t like rain.
As the day progressed the rain cleared away and boats started moving. With each boat passing we got nervous that they might stop outside the pub, so we decided to push across and take the mooring before anyone else did. Hopefully we’ll have a peaceful night and be up bright and early waiting with the kettle on for Finesse to arrive.
0 locks, 2.74 miles, 1 swing bridge, 2 held up, 1 wind, 1 doppelganger, 4 hours tidying and cleaning, 1 wine cellar in order, 4 hours field exploration, 20 muddy paws, 1 big deal about sitting on a towel! 1 boat ready and waiting, 0 pints tonight, 7.30 am ETA tomorrow!
Back In Swing Bridge Land. 25th July
Fishers Swing Bridge to New Lane Swing Bridge 31
The weather forecast isn’t being kind to us. Today has been a lovely day, starting off slightly damp, but progressing into another warm sunny afternoon. However tomorrow is meant to be a seriously wet day which has meant that a planned snagging rendez vous with the chaps from Finesse has been put on hold. They will need the stern hatch open for much of the day and without a pram cover Oleanna would get wet where she shouldn’t. So we are keeping our fingers crossed that Thursday the weather will be on our side.
With this in mind we had a late breakfast, trying out a recipe for oat and pecan pancakes. They were nice, but would have been nicer with a touch of sugar added to the mix or a big drizzle of maple syrup. They were a nice change though.
So our mission today was to find somewhere to meet Finesse, get their van as close as possible to Oleanna and still be on course to make our booked passage into Liverpool at the weekend. We’ve spent some time looking at google earth, tracing the canal from Wigan to Maghull. We have been this way before and had an idea of a couple of places that might be good.
First though we had a swing bridge to do, the first of quite a few to get us to Liverpool.
Then was Appley Deep Lock which is 12ft. We first came through here with our friends Frank and Steve in May 2012, it was peeing it down! A boat had just passed us so we hoped that it would be in our favour, which it almost was, only a couple of feet down, so I started to top it up. I quickly realised that I’d need all the paddles to do this as the bottom gates were leaking so much. However one of the ground paddles was chained up, out of action. A small cruiser approached from below and a lad of about 12 came up with a windlass in hand. He was very chatty and was a little bit old before his time, asking all the usual questions boaters ask at locks but with a slight naivety to them. He asked if he could wind a paddle for us when we’d got our boat in the lock as he’d be doing nothing otherwise. That would be great thanks. Mick brought Oleanna into the lock and was just getting off the stern to close the gate when the lad started to wind the paddle up! We both shouted to wait, he of course was only doing as we’d agreed, lifting a paddle when we’d got our boat in the lock, no-one had said anything about gates!
Unable to unlock the handcuff on the other paddle meant it was going to take time to empty such a deep lock. So we chatted away. He and his Dad had not had the boat long, they’d bought it in a car boot sale on line for £100 and were heading off on an adventure. He asked how much our boat had cost, which got the response of ‘quite a bit more than yours’. Boys like numbers no matter what age, so I gave him Oleanna’s vital statistics so far. Nearly 4 months old, about 650 miles and around 420 locks. As we pulled away from the lock I could hear him shouting these down to his Dad, I think we’d impressed him.
Our first possible meeting place was Parbold where there is a car park right next to the visitor moorings. There was space for us, not the closest, but still quite good, only down side was that they are only 24hrs, perfect for tomorrow, but not Thursday! We pulled in and went to the shop timing it well that the level crossing closed just after we’d crossed the rail tracks. Any excuse for Mick to watch trains! After lunch we toyed with the idea of carrying on a bit to see if other places were any good, if not wind and moor up to return later tomorrow. But this would leave us with quite a lot of miles to get under our bow, so we decided to carry on and see what else might be available, after all a couple of hours cruise for us is only a matter of minutes in a van for Finesse. This did mean though that the very good chilled medication shop by the bridge on the off side didn’t get a visit! We will be stopping here on the way back though! Can’t pass it twice without partaking.
At Bridge 35 we pulled over to add our rubbish to the mountain in and on the skip. Just after bridge 34 was another place we’d identified, another 24hr mooring! On past the Rufford Branch where we will be heading in a couple of weeks. We were now on water we’ve only done once in NB Winding Down.
Coming into Burscough Bridge at the end of a line of boats was Oleanna’s doppelganger. Well nearly. NB Infinity is an Aintree boat launched in December 2015. She has very similar colours to Oleanna, maybe a little bit brighter, but her stripes are a mirror image of each other, not shadows. Her owners were just opening up the hatch and we complemented them on their colour scheme, the lady didn’t twig to start off with. Behind them was a space and through the fence was a car park, we thought about it for a while, but the canoe portage sign put us off, we’d be in the way.
At Burscough Bridge the chandlers where we replaced a mallet and the good bakers have both sadly gone. Now in their place is a restaurant and bar, shame because the pies were very good. The next place was Long Term Mooring and not suitable for a cat to go out as the road was right beside it. The next swing bridge came into view along with what had looked like a boat yard on google earth. However it was a closed down pub, with parking in front right by the water and a 24hr mooring and there was space. If we stopped we’d be there for 48 hours, should we be bad?
Our conscience got the better of us, so we carried on to find the next place was also 24hr mooring and outside an open pub. There were still a few more places to try, but they were quite a few miles further on, so we decided to wind and moor on the towpath for tonight, a better place for Tilly and then moor up tomorrow at the closed pub. Fingers crossed that the weather puts others off from cruising tomorrow and that the open pub attracts any that do.
1 lock, 8.29 miles, 6 swing bridges, holding up 20, 1 twice, 1 wind, 1 straight on, 7 healthy pancakes, 12 year old old before his time, 0 chilled medication, 6 ripe bananas reduced for not being green, 1 mirrored, 1 shadowed, 2 many 24hr moorings, 1 hour, 27 goose grass seeds, 1/2 hr removal, 2 miffed magpies, 1 cat porn email, 4 black beauties waiting for homes.
A Spot Of Gardening. 24th July
Plank Lane to Fishers Swing Bridge 45, Leeds Liverpool Canal
A boat passed us this morning at around 7.20am heading for the bridge. Plank Lane Lift Bridge cannot be operated during busy times, 8-9.30am and 4.30-6pm, due to the amount of traffic on the road. So when we rolled up the curtains on the front windows we were surprised to still see the same boat moored on the bridge landing, they were only just moving off at a little after 10. We signalled to them that we were pulling out but for water, so they operated the bridge just for themselves and we took their place at the water point. Once the tank was topped up I turned the key of power in the bridge console and opened up the navigation.
Near Bamfulong a tree was hanging so far over the cut that we couldn’t see past it. Was there a better side to try to pass it on? No. Our chimney cap is only just balancing on top of the chimney at the moment so I wondered if it would stay put as we had to go through the middle of the branches. Mick slowed us right down and I delved into a locker to pull out our set of sheers. A major bit of pruning was required and we gradually cut an Oleanna sized hole through the tree. Hope it doesn’t grow back before NB Blackbird comes through in about a weeks time. With the cuttings thrown onto the towpath we carried on towards Poolstock Locks.
The two locks were our first for what felt like an age, only four days. A boat had just gone up in front of us and by the time we reached the second lock they were just finishing going up. They said they were turning left at the junction ahead and would wait for us in the next lock. We followed up and turned to join them. They had picked the boat up at Nantwich last Friday and these were their first broad locks ever. They were the boat that had been at the bridge this morning. When they had arrived they didn’t have a key of power to operate it, so one of them had got a cab to the C&RT office in Wigan to buy one and then got a cab back. One expensive key!
They were on a mission and we were peckish so we parted ways after the lock and pulled in outside what used to be the C&RT offices in Wigan for some lunch. The ground floor of the building is currently empty, the water tap still works and a boater has typically left a load of rubbish for someone to collect just because there isn’t a sign saying not to! The gates that used to keep this mooring secure are now even more so as the padlocks on them no longer open with a key of power. So if you pull up there, there is no way into town.
As we pulled into the next lock we could see that a boat was following us, so we waited so that we could share with them. NB Dolly was heading back to Crooke after a short cruise, so we could share the locks out of Wigan with them. The towpath is very high after this lock so I elected to walk to the next bridge where the canal turns a sharp left. The last time we were here this mile pound had been drained overnight and we had to wait for C&RT to let water down from the Wigan flight and close the Poolstock Locks so that every drop would come our way. Today there was no six hour wait to then crawl along the bottom, tripping on traffic cones and getting stuck mid channel. Our passage was very easy.
Approaching Ell Meadow Lock there was a boat in the reeds off side, they didn’t seem to be in trouble so as we passed Mick said that we were being followed by another boat. Most people would have sat and waited for their turn, but no they came out of the reeds and pulled in behind us. One boat was going down another waiting to come up, so there’d be a wait. I hopped off and went to lend a hand. The lady from the boat coming up wasn’t impressed by the boat that had been in the reeds. As they had approached the lock the reed boat closed the gates on them, ‘not enough room for two boats’ she was told! She didn’t know if it was their first time out or if the boat was very new. Whilst she and I worked her boat up I had a chap chatting away to me who had turned up on a bike. I first thought he was lock wheeling for a boat still out of view, but no he was just an enthusiastic gongoozler who wasn’t aware that he was encroaching my personal space! He loved the programme with those two actors, oh and that one with Timothy Spall, they need to have their boat a bit further back in that lock, etc, all as I tried to keep an eye on the boat coming up. In the end I suggested to the lady from the boat that she should hop on and I’d head over to close the paddles thinking that someone from one off the two boats behind us would come forward to help close gates. I was a bit too keen to get away from encroaching man so didn’t drop the paddles before I walked round. The step down was too high for the lady so she ended up walking round, dropping the paddles I’d left and then as still no-one had come to lend a hand she closed that gate behind Mick, who was just climbing up to do it.
I was obviously waiting for the reed boat and he eventually shouted asking if they would fit, ‘YES’. So he stopped bow hauling his boat and jumped on the back bringing it in alongside Oleanna. He and his wife stood on the back of the boat enjoying the experience. One of their fenders dropped into the water as they entered. I pointed it out to them, he fished it out saying that would teach him for leaving them down, lucky for him it floated. I closed the gate behind them and then walked to the bottom gates to open the paddles. There may be a reason that neither of them got off the boat to help, some medical condition that wasn’t obvious perhaps. But when she said to Mick ‘it’s harder work than expected these locks!’as I opened up the second paddle, Mick did his best not to laugh out loud. I had no intention of opening both gates, so conferred in a very loud voice with Mick. They smiled and watched as I crossed over the bridge AGAIN to open the gate in front of them. Well they had no-one to pick up so they might as well go first. They didn’t seem to understand that I’d need picking up, surely I was a lockie, there to make life easy for all. A chap from the boat behind then came and lent a hand with the gates. I just found the hole thing really quite funny, boy are they going to get a shock when everything isn’t done for them.
We followed them, both had a hand on the tiller. Luckily they pulled in at Crooke as their staff passed.
The M6 passes high over head just before the next lock, Dean Lock. A pretty setting with the bridge curved steps, the bywash and the old disused lock to one side. A fisherman sat by the bywash as two kayaks appeared below. They proceeded to climb out of the cut and haul thier boats up onto land where wheels were added to ease moving them to above the lock. These two chaps are heading to Hull by paddle power. We wondered if they would paddle between the locks up the Wigan flight or just walk up the whole flight.
As soon as the M6 was out of ear shot we pulled over with a great view over a meadow. Not quite as far as we were hoping to get today, but near enough.
7 locks, 9.72 miles, 2 hours to get a key, 1 lift, 27 held up, 1 blackbird sized hole, 1 chimney cap still, 1 left, 2 lots of newbies, 1 empty office, 2 bags rubbish, 1 favourite little man, 2 narrowboats will fit, 2 oblivious boaters, 150 plus miles to paddle, 2 hours means 5 right! 1 murder.
THE Bridgewater Bridge 23rd July
Swing! 22nd July
The above is a link to a video of the aqueduct swinging back across the ship canal. I’ve speed it up a bit to 8 times the actual speed. Warning if on limited internet it is around 45MB, the original was nearly 2GB and my arms ached taking it.
Determined Kink. 21st July
Lymm to Bollington Underbridge
Waterproofs were needed as soon as we set off today. Drizzle turned into rain pretty quickly. The gusty wind got stronger as we progressed slowly towards Manchester.
Water points and bins are not frequent on the Bridgewater Canal so after we’d passed the two boat yards on our way out from Lymm we pulled in at The Old No3 pub for water. Being exposed on an embankment with the wind blowing Oleanna across the cut meant it was hard to moor up. The bow had been brought into the side, but the wind was forcing it out. A couple of blasts of the bow thruster helped, so then I could get off and get a rope through a ring.
The water pressure was exceedingly poor so we both retired inside to wait for the boom from the tank. Mick later discover a kink in the hose which won’t have been helping matters. It’s a determined kink, determined to stay put no matter now much persuading Mick gave it. Once full it was time to move on. As soon as the ropes were untied there was no holding Oleanna in. So I stayed stood on the bow and slipped the loop of the bow rope off the T stud to then pull it through the ring, by which time we were half way across the cut.
That made our minds up to pull in at Dunham Massey. It was here or carry on to Manchester another three hours away which we really didn’t fancy. Tomorrow we’ll have to make up for two short days.
The wind has been rattling the doors and whistling around us. Tilly has had freedom down in the fields below for most of the afternoon whilst Mick has watched the Tour de France. Later on Tilly and I had a walk along the towpath. She chats as she walks, only occasionally getting distracted and then running to catch up. We only walked 500m, wonder how far she’d follow me? Maybe we’ll walk the towpath towards Manchester and see how far we get tomorrow. Only problem will be other towpath users and the occasional tree!
0 locks, 3.28 miles, 2 cheese twists, 1 full water tank, 1 very strong wind, 1 rendez vous for covers sorted, 2 damp boaters, 1 boat well and truly tied up, 2 tyres deployed, 0.5km cat walk a start, 259 miles walk for Tabitha!
BEEP YOUR HORN!!!!! 20th July
Avoiding The Storms, So Far. 19th July
Whatcroft Flash to Breach Site, Dutton
No rain came during the night and so far today we’ve not seen one drop, let alone any thunder and lightening. The sky has been grey all day and the air heavy and still full of moisture, really hope it rains soon.
As we rounded the next bend we could see where everyone had moored last night, the next flash north. It looks like work has started on what will be a marina here, a few piles have been driven in along the far bank and a large pile of them sits waiting. In time here will change, a new marina and crossings of HS2. Although I’m sure that once the new rail line is built and the disruption gone, canal users will just take the bridges as just another one, it’s just a shame that it will be another area with frequent trains. But that’s progress for you.
Yesterday Mick had been bitten on his arm and last night it had swollen up. I drew a line round it so we could see if it had gone down any over night, but this morning the line of course had worn off. So we pootled along to Broken Cross where Mick headed down the road on a bike to a chemists. He was told that he was dong the right thing, allergy tablets and cream. He returned stocked up with some more pills and a stronger batch too, just in case. The insect repellent was being used liberally at the stern today.
Through the chemical works which looked moody with grey skies behind them. We passed NB Earnest, a famous boat that has been to places with The Tuesday Night Club that other boats will never go, like going through the lock on the River Dee in Chester and navigating as far as possible on the Witham Drains. Another long line of moored boats brought us to the Lion Salt Works which are well worth a visit if you ever pass.
Next along the way was the Anderton Boat Lift, working again after a mishap a week or so ago. We ventured down the lift back in 2011 March on NB Winding Down. As we passed today we decided that a return visit was needed to fully explore the Weaver, along with the Llangollen and heading up to Chester and Ellesmere Port, but this will have to wait for another year as we’re booked into Liverpool in ten days time.
Up ahead we had two tunnels, Barnton and Saltersford. I was posted as look out at the bow, as the approach to Barnton Tunnel has some very tight bends, one under a bridge. One way travel only in these tunnels, so I had to check that the way was clear. There is a wiggle in the middle of the tunnel so looking at the right moment is important, we were clear so could proceed. I decided to stay at the bow which confused Tilly somewhat, she spent our passage through shouting out of the bathroom window at us, which echoed along the tunnel.
Being at the bow I could see that Oleanna was still smiling, such a happy boat.
Saltersford Tunnel has timed passages, heading north you can pass through anytime between on the hour to twenty past the hour. We’d just missed our window, so pulled in for a cuppa and counted down the minutes until we could go through. They still needed reminding that I was there ready to go off exploring, so I returned to the bathroom porthole and made my presence known. They just meowed back at me, how rude!
We hoped that we’d be able to moor at the breach site shortly before Preston Brook and luckily there was space for us. No view, but extra mooring rings have been added into the concrete edge since we were last here. There used to be space for four or five boats, now more like ten. The edge is low enough to be able to paint gunnels at too, but that will have to wait until we pass another time.
0 locks, 10.45 miles, 3 packets of pills, 1 arm still in tact, 8 expectant beaks, 0 people at home, 1 Earnest, 2 for the trip boat, 2 tunnels, 2 and 1 mysterons, 40 minute wait, 2 Black Prince boats, 1 mooring without the view, 1 mile to the Bridgewater, 0 rain too play in, 67838956465 rain now I’m inside!
Traffic Warden Required. 18th July
Middlewich to Whatcroft Flash
As we were getting ready to set off we heard NB Halsall approaching. The coal boat had problems over the weekend and now mended was trying too catch up on it’s rounds. So I left Mick to untie Oleanna and headed down to the lock to see if I could help any. There was a chap helping who lived locally who had come to do the same, so I wasn’t needed after all.
A hire boat seemed to not be able to make up it’s mind it was going too and fro on the other side of the bridge hole at the junction. It wasn’t turning in towards Wardle Lock so I hadn’t stolen the lock from them. A chap from a boat behind us went down to see what was happening with them as I dropped Oleanna down. He came back saying that the hire boat were wanting water and to come up the lock, should he wait for them, or were they going to stop trying to do water, no-one knew, not even them! Their attempt to fit a hose onto the water point wasn’t going well with a lady just holding the hose against the tap. I wished the chap behind Good Luck as Mick started to turn Oleanna at the junction back onto the Trent and Mersey Canal.
Another boat was coming through the next bridge and had only just seen Mick waiting for them. They were wanting to head up Wardle Lock, so as the lock was empty and the hire boat didn’t know what it was doing I suggested that they should go up, the chap from the boat behind us also suggest this as he didn’t really want to wait for the indecisive hire boat. Except the hire boat had just made up it’s mind to go for the lock! The photo above is shortly before the third boat entered the equation. Mick has just come out from under the bridge on the right and is turning towards the camera. The hire boat is at the water point just past the bridge, it’s stern is visible. The third boat then came from behind me wanting to turn right under the bridge, but Mick was in it’s way to swing out for the turn and they were in his way to get out of the way, along with the hire boat most probably reversing to try to turn right too. Mick managed to get past everyone and then we ran away, so no idea who got to the lock first, the poor man behind us!
At the three Middlewich Locks there were volunteers on, one for each lock. Considering we have done these locks numerous times, we’ve never done them with lock keepers. I was ready to go ahead and set the next chamber, come back etc, but no need. We’d arrived at a bit of a lull, no-one was coming up, so each chamber was set for us just before Oleanna arrived at it. Three jolly chaps all in radio contact and very efficient. I suggested to them that maybe there should be a volunteer to stand at the junction and act as a traffic warden, but apparently Wardle Lock is in a different area to the Middlewich Locks so that is why there was no volunteer on there.
The other very odd thing was the distinct lack of hire boats below the bottom lock. There was one which was part way through being fitted out, but that was all, every boat was out. We pulled up just after the hire base and filled with water. The pressure wasn’t so good so I had time to walk back through town to Kings Lock chandlers for some International Woodskin for our cratch and front doors as I think they could do with an extra coat or two. Sadly they didn’t have any, but Midland Chandlers at Preston Brook had, so a tin has been put aside for when we pass.
At Big Lock we joined with another boat going down and then stopped at the recycling centre canal side to dispose of rubbish and some engine oil. On we pootled and soon arrived at Bramble Cuttings. Two narrowboats and a day boat were moored up, not enough space for us. But the day boat looked like they were packing up and about to pull away leaving an Oleanna sized gap, which we tucked ourselves into quickly. This is only the second time we’ve managed to get a space here. Off side, picnic benches, and rings,it’s a lovely mooring. Trees, sideways trees, friendly cover, what more could I want. However there were three dogs on this idyllic mooring and the small amount of shade was about to disappear as the sun moved round.
So we moved onwards further north towards the flashes where there would be trees on the port side to shelter us from the heat of the sun. To our surprise there was no-one else moored up, so we picked a good bit of shade and settled down for the rest of the day. Lots to play with here, although the birdies could have sung a bit quieter for my liking. I spent the afternoon giving some attention to the boat hook and pole. They had greyed a bit after three months of sitting outside, so I sanded them back a bit and gave them a first coat of varnish. Quite pleased that I hadn’t left them any longer, just hope there will be a couple of days soon when I can get another two coats on them. As I sanded I could see the weather front coming over the sun went and the wind picked up. We are forecast to have rain and possible thunder storms early in the morning.
5 locks, 4.72 miles, 5 comings and goings, 3 boats all wanting to be under the same bridge, 1 left, 3 lockies, 0 hire boats, 0 woodskin, 1 full water tank, 2nd time at Bramble cuttings, 3 Woofers! 1 flash, 2 more boats, 1 hour sanding, 1st coat, 5 hours of being bedonkers.